PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
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