I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
