names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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