this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
