trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
