This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
