:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
