**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
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