I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
