My brain says no but my pants say off.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
