He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I have tasted many bathrooms
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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