If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
