I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just google imaged poop.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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