I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
