he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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