I need help removing her.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize