..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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