jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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