thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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