So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
