Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
So squirting runs in the family.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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