You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
