he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Welp...herpes.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
what day is it and did you see me today?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
