Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
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