Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
