new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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