We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize