How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
ttyl tear gas
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
