Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We need a shit load of segways right now
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize