Duck Duck Cougar?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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