It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
