Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Randomize
