AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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