Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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