I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
