come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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