Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
