Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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