saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
