what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Still dying that you shit outside
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
