I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
