so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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