I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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