You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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