hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
And then the night went full on bisexual.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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