Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
