i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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