I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
