listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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