so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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