I seem to have left my pride at pride
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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