Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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