Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Randomize
