There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize