im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My hand turned me down
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
