he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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