we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
