dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
