He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
