Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
