One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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