hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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