i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
