y did u give ur computer a hand job?
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
