YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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