It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
