There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
My pussy is not your playground.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
