Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
