She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
