Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
