This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
is it fun? or sober?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
