i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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