Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
