so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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